Thursday, 28 February 2008

let me kiss her one last time.

I could never end my life, as much as I've wanted to at various times in my existence. The guilt stops me. I don't want to cause pain to others with my actions. If it was without repurcussion, I think I'd rather not live than keep living.

I keep catching myself wanting for accidents to happen to me, so it wouldnt be my fault, and I'd be free of guilt. If it was to happen I wouldn't want to wake up. The cowards way out is really appealing.

Similarly I find myself thinking that if emma was dying i wouldnt help her.

This has been a dark blog. La vie seule sans elle me tue. Chaque jour est plus insupportable que le dernier.

L'intérieur, je suis mort déjà.

What hope is there when I don't even exist.

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